Why Transitioning Is Harder Than You Think

Leaving a children’s home is often seen as a happy ending, finally stepping out into “freedom.” But for many young people, freedom doesn’t always feel like victory. It often feels like being pushed into deep waters without a life jacket.

In Kenya, thousands of children grow up in care institutions, separated from their families and society at large. While these homes offer protection, food, and education, they also form a bubble that shields youth from the harsh realities of the outside world. When that bubble bursts, the real transition begins and it’s rarely easy.

The Emotional Shock of “Freedom”

In a home, you had structure. A schedule. Adults who checked in on you. A place to sleep, even if it wasn’t your own. But once you turn 18 or when the institution feels you’re “ready” you’re expected to make it on your own.

This sudden shift brings:

• Loneliness: No caregivers. No “siblings.” Just you.
• Anxiety: Where will I live? How will I eat?
• Identity crisis: Who am I outside this home? What’s my place in the world?

It’s common for youth to feel lost, invisible, or even ashamed once they step out, especially when comparing their lives to others.

The Financial Struggles Are Real

Most young people leaving care have no savings, no job experience, and no family network to fall back on. Without these support systems, every small need becomes a crisis:

• Rent.
• Transport to job interviews.
• Money for airtime or data to apply online.
• Food.

Some take up any job they can find; cleaning, hawking, boda boda but often without mentorship or guidance on how to budget or save. Others get exploited or end up in dangerous environments just to survive.

Social Isolation Hits Hard

Imagine sitting in a room full of people and still feeling like you don’t belong. That’s what many former care-leavers experience. Even if you go to church, join a youth group, or get a job, you might still feel like an outsider.

Why?

• You didn’t grow up with a family, so you may not understand how to relate with them.
• You lack basic social skills others take for granted like asking for help, managing conflict, or navigating friendships.
• You feel shame about your background, so you hide it making true connection difficult.

Real Stories, Real Struggles

Take Brian, for example. He left a home at 19 with nothing but a small bag of clothes. No place to stay. No one to call. He spent time at cyber cafés applying for jobs until someone offered him a construction gig. It paid little, but it gave him purpose. With time and support, Brian found his footing.

Then there’s Sarah, who couldn’t handle the emotional toll. She moved from house to house, relying on “friends” who ended up exploiting her. It wasn’t until she found a mentorship program that she began to heal and rebuild her life.

These stories are not rare, they reflect the quiet battle many care-leavers fight daily.

What Makes the Transition Smoother?

✅ Mentorship and Guidance: Having someone who has walked the road before can make all the difference. Someone to say, “You’re not crazy. This is hard but it gets better.”

✅ Life Skills Training: Budgeting. Cooking. Job searching. Time management. These are survival skills, not luxuries.

✅ Safe Housing Options: Even a transitional home where youth can stay for 6-12 months post-care could provide the safety net they desperately need.

✅ Emotional Support: Therapy, peer support groups, and faith-based counseling can help heal childhood wounds that resurface during adulthood.

✅ Community Integration: Being part of a church, sports team, or volunteer group helps build new “family” and a sense of belonging.

You’re Not Failing

If you’re a young person struggling after leaving care, know this: You’re not alone, and you’re not a failure.

Life outside the home is not easy. You are not weak because it feels overwhelming. It’s a journey of learning, falling, standing, and growing.

Your past doesn’t define you.
Your current struggle doesn’t disqualify you.
And your future is still worth building, one step at a time.